In the beginning most Gamers were men, now the females have caught up quiet a bit. Yet in the big ratio it is still women who are Gaming Widows out. If you are in that particular boat you have probably spend more time by yourself then you would ever wish to. If you have a hard core Gamer in your house, you can expect to have a formidable “Mistress” for your husband’s affection and just like anything else that takes his attention and affection away (yes ladies the Gamers love their Games) fighting constantly about it will only drive him further away from you and towards “her”.
First off you need to understand why Gaming is so much fun if you haven’t figured it out yourself yet.
#1 Games don’t complain about anything, they are created with your entertainment and enjoyment in mind. Sure they have no worries, but that does not matter in the end. What would you rather spend you time doing? Listen to yet another bitch session or have fun being entertained?
#2 It is challenging in a good way. Have you ever played a first person shooter? Have you ever solved a Quest or gone on a mission? In many ways this is the closest many of our guys are coming to being able to live out their old instincts.
#3 You have super powers, special skills and can be anyone you want to be.
#4 The Game is always ready for you when you want to play with it. It never has a headache.
#5 It is a WONDERFUL stress relieve. You can be as mean and violent in some games as you wish to be. I would rather have my husband let his aggression out in the game then on someone in real life.
#6 The graphics are amazing. It is like going on your very own Adventure without ever having to leave the house.
#7 There is always something new to discover.
And the list could go on and on. As you see it is really all about having fun instead of about every day problems. Even the problems you are solving in the game are fantastical and far removed from what you usually would have to do.
8 Years ago my husband got hooked on PC Gaming and in short order would spend almost 16 hours a day gaming on his days off. On days that he had to work he would still game at least until 10pm at night and then just go to bed. I remember being hurt, frustrated and very angry. Especially since this was the beginning of our relationship. In order for us to have some time together I would have to fight with him over it in which cases he told me I was stupid and jealous of a machine. His reasoning was that at least he was always home and not out like some men cheating on me.
The problem however was that in his own way he was cheating on me, just not sexually and yes I was stupid jealous. Loving my honey as much as I did even then I would try to find ways being close to him. After about 6 months of this I started finding solutions instead of causing fights. I started gathering my writing stuff, my drawing stuff or whatever craft project I was currently working on and drug it to a spot in his Gaming room on the floor. There I would do what I was doing and watch him gaming at the same time. At first he was a little leery about this newest development, but when he noticed I wasn’t trying to start another fight but instead was just “participating” in my own way he started enjoying my company.
There were certain games I really loved watching him play. Either because they seemed “fun”, were silly contented or seemed extremely challenging. Other games could not hold my interest at all and I would end up asleep on the floor between all my stuff.
Soon I started realizing that as soon as I would come with my “luggage” into the room he would start switching games to something I liked to watch. A few times he would invite me to try to play it, but most of them were just too difficult for me. I have bad eyesight and my I don’t like complicated setting to play a game. So I would just give up and watch. As you see a switch was being thrown in me as well. I was no longer on the outside. At times he would make his characters do silly things when he noticed I would laugh at them. That was fun as well, and I allowed myself to enjoy “our gaming” time together.
I had my own computer and so my husband started watching which games I would take an interest in and would look for co-op games. Meaning you play them together via from 2 separate computers. The first one was the one that got me hooked on gaming with my honey and will be listed as my first choice to get started. Serious Sam is a first person shooter that you do not want to pass up. The Character is a wise cracking, gun totting, adventurer that defeats hordes of Monsters and “saves” the world.
What I liked about this game was that it didn’t matter if I got killed, because it would not affect him. He taught me how to play the game, set the controls up for me and soon we would start gaming together once in a while. After a few weeks I would even be looking forward to our Gaming time together and would ask him…”Are we gaming today?”
What started with one game went to various games and genre and in time I even started to single Game a little bit here and there when I am not too busy. Let me tell you, it is a lot more fun to join them for a game, then to constantly fight against it. Oh and his gaming became a lot less too when I quit complaining about it all the time. Keep that in mind Ladies.
Now here are my top Games (older) to start co-op gaming with your honey with.
Serious Sam (all the versions out by now) First Person Shooter
This Game was the one that started it all for me. The price is cheap and you can either join others online (server) or have your honey set his own server up and play with him via lan. We have done both and he is always been proud of having his gaming partner with him. The game play is extremely straight forward and easy to control and learn. This is still now years later my favorite stand by after I haven’t gamed for a while.
Neverwinter Nights. (RPG)
You can play this game forever if you want to. There are tons of mods out now and so many wonderful extras. You only have to pay one time for the game and its other parts by now, but never a monthly fee. (my husband and I will not play monthly charge games like World of Warcraft because of the constant fees and the need for large groups to play.)
Guild Wars (online free MMO)
I am having a bit of a hard time with it from time to time, but you can play this game single player or co-op so it works out ok. We have set up 2 characters on this game one for single player and one for us playing together.
RPG meets slash and dash. A lovely older game. However not recommended for those that can not figure the “jump” out.
Dungeon Runners (this one is one of our newer ones but a blast…)free MMO
You want to go out and purchase the Box, this gives you 6 months of free online gameplay, plus loads of extras like the Blinky Gnome. You don’t want to miss out on him, he makes the whole process of collecting items so much easier. If you don’t care for the extras you can just play it fully free.
Battlefield and Battlefield 2 (shooter)
Here is a game where you truly can become a team. Plus there are tons of Mods you can download on the Website for free. Of course there are also extra mod packs you can purchase from their online Store. Make sure however that if you play together you both have exactly all the same Mods installed and are at the same update version or you won’t be able to co-op together.
Unreal Tournament (Shooter)
Hint: This game be played as a co-op, single, or as a death match etc. I love playing this game death match with my husband when I am pissed off at him for something. He is a lot better, but there just is something about being able to let my aggression out on him in this safe and entertaining way.
Same as Unreal Tournament. It is very easy to control and play. Tons of Mods and so fun to play either together or as a single player. You can be surprised just how much fun you can have together, if you are willing to learn something new.
If you want to play a game by yourself and want to understand how a Game can get you hooked enough so you don’t remember what time it is, try playing Spellforce by yourself. This game taught me never to get angry at my husband when he forgets what time it is, can’t stop playing right when I want him to come to dinner because of safe points.
Go ahead ladies give this a try, you may just find that you make a real good gaming team. We even ended up getting our Daughter to game with us as a family team at one point and made Saturdays our Gaming days.
Gaming is only as destructive as you allow it to be. So instead of making it an issue, why don’t you make it into a fun time spend together?