“Now what would I do with that?” is a question that often occurs to me when I read the latest offerings on my local Freecyle, especially when thrifty souls offer half eaten containers of foodstuffs or used beauty products. I find myself composing mental Best of Freecycle lists – yes, sarcastic ones, usually- whenever I encounter a bizarre Freecycle item. Yet, I will be the first to admit that I have obtained many useful items on Freecycle and given away specialty items our family no longer needed such as tap shoes that no longer fit the little feet for which they were purchased.
Freecycle, as you undoubtedly know, is an online system for trading serviceable consumer products no longer needed. The idea behind Freecycle is to keep useable products out of dumps and redistribute them to people who will appreciate them. Freecyclers can read through available listings to find products of interest to them, can post offers of items they no longer need, or can post wanted listings for things they would like to acquire in the hopes that another Freecycler has some to spare.
My husband is an avid Freecycler, and his Freecycling frenzy is legendary in our household.
“Where’s Dad- off Freecycling again?” is not an uncommon question in our home. But even though my husband brings home all manner of dubious acquisitions, there are some items offered on Freecycle that I’m sure would give even this avid Freecycler pause.
Like the items on this Best of Freecyle list…
Best of Freecycle Item #1: Cat X-Rays
Wouldn’t you just love to get your hands on the Freecycled x-rays of someone else’s cat? What exactly would you do with the x-rays of someone else’s cat? Tell your vet to just use these cat x-rays instead of paying for x-rays of your own cat?
Best of Freecycle Item #2: Used Litter Boxes
The used litter boxes are not companion items to the cat x-rays, but they do complement one another, don’t they? Anyone unwilling to spring for his own set of cat x-rays probably won’t invest in a new litter box for kitty cat, either. And while there is nothing intrisically wrong with Freecycling litterboxes, don’t such toileting items seem just a bit too personal to share?
Best of Freecycle Item #3: Expired Infant Formula in Water-Damaged Package
For more surefire poison, buy infant formula imported from China. Why bother with Freecycled formula that is merely expired and water-damaged when by frequenting your local Asian market you could obtain imported formula tainted with deadly melamine?
Best of Freecycle Item #4: Live Christmas Tree Wanted
Having not gotten around to celebrating Christmas by January 2, one Freecycler inquired whether there was a timely celebrant willing to part with a used live Christmas tree. Although this is a peculiar request, it represents the essence of Freecycling- you’re done with Christmas so pass your live tree on to someone who’s fallen behind in celebrating.
Best of Freecycle Item #5: 8 Cans Mostly Full Air Fresheners
How do you know if cans of air freshener will reek like eau de skunque? A reliable sign is a fellow Freecyler opening one can after another and abandoning them while still “mostly full” in the vain hope that the next can’s odor might prove less noxious.
Best of Freecycle Item #6: Partially Blown Speakers
What would motivate a Freecycler to claim a set of partially blown speakers? Plans to only half listen to his music?
Don’t settle for stained rugs or broken appliances when you Freecycle; wait for something truly extraordinary like cat x-rays for the optimal Freecycle experience.