Calling in sick is never fun, whether you are sick, have a reasonable excuse, or no excuse at all. This is true no matter where you work. Once upon a time, my daughter got the notion of calling in sick to work. This started an entire series of unfortunate events.
First of all she needed an excuse for calling in sick. She and her boyfriend racked their brains. They came up with a dandy excuse. Her mother was in the hospital. Next she had her boyfriend call in sick for her. She figured it would be more believable that she was not at home and was in fact, visiting her sick mother in the hospital.
Calling in sick to work as we all know, is bad enough. Having someone else calling in sick for you is one of the seven deadly sins, according to most bosses. Therefore, her boss, who is a bit of a jerk anyway, told her boyfriend, calling in sick by way of a second party was unacceptable and not a valid excuse. She would have to either come in or call in sick herself.
This brings to light the next problem. Work will want to know exactly what is wrong with your sick mother. So before calling in sick to work, this question needs to be pondered and solved. Your mother cannot be sick enough to actually die, because if she really does die, what is to be used for an excuse on that day? Calling in sick to work with a viable excuse has suddenly become more complicated than intended.
So, what horrible thing has been bestowed on me, the sick mother? I have to be sick enough to make my reliable and trustworthy daughter consider calling in sick to excuse herself from work. I can’t be sick enough to die. Between my daughter and her boyfriend they decided I had fallen down the stairs. Since I have arthritis, this is a good excuse. It’s a precarious situation for me, but not too precarious that I might die.
So this loving daughter of mine decides now that giving this excuse is too much to go through for a day off of work and calling in sick. She then proceeds to head for work with the excuse firmly planted in her head, rather than just calling in sick.
On the way to work, my loving daughter starts thinking about how crappy work actually is. How awful that when you are calling in sick, with a valid excuse, because your mother is in the hospital, your boss gives you a hard time. Your boss insists on you calling in to work sick yourself, and giving your own excuse, while your mother could be dead or dying for all they know. What a messed up situation!
My daughter arrives at work with tears streaming down her face, sobbing hysterically, due to the fact that she can’t even consider calling in sick, when the majority of people at her work are guilty of calling in sick at least once a month and for no good reason. Never mind that I’m not really sick, because if I were, calling in sick to work is now not an option. Therefore her employers are now unfeeling, which makes her cry even more.
Well now, the co-workers and bosses see my daughter in a total state of hysterical madness over the situation and decide that she is indeed being honest. They figure calling in sick to work was not so unreasonable and they send her packing, with much sympathy. They tell her they will be expecting her to be calling to work with news of her mother and send best wishes to me for a speedy recovery.
It’s at this time that my daughter calls me with her whole sad calling in sick to work excuse story. We discuss what to do the next time there’s a work party. Should I show up limping and bruised or not show up at all? Of course then I wouldn’t have to come up with my own excuse, since one has already been provided for me by my loving daughter.
My daughter in her most exasperated voice, informs me that “God, Mom, I just wanted to stay home, smoke a bowl and read a book. This being sick business is harder than just going to work. Next time I’m just not calling in. They can sit there and wonder why I’m not calling in sick and I’ll just make up some excuse like, I got the schedule wrong and my phone was off all day.” That’s what everyone else does and they never get in trouble.”
Gosh, I love that girl. Chip off the old block.
More from Jaipi:
Sit and Be Fit While Writing
Is Being a SAHM Really the Hardest Job?
Five Places Tweens Can Work Before Getting a Real Job