Is it just me, or was Valentine’s stuff out two days after Christmas was over? I don’t even think we had taken down our tree before stores started putting out boxes of candy and teddy bears. Well if Ebenezer Scrooge could say ‘Bah Valentine’s Day’, I believe he would. I’ll even say it too. ‘Bah, Valentine’s Day.’ If you ask me, it’s just another day to purchase a card and withering flowers (who needs another card or dead flowers?). Do me a favor, don’t buy into the commercialism of Valentine’s Day this year. Although I’ll admit the economy needs a much needed boost now more than ever, I still don’t suggest purchasing tasteless chocolates, flowers headed for the grave, or balloons due to deflate a few hours after purchase. Instead, I invite you to join the millions of us who reject this day and celebrate what we call – Anti-Valentine’s Day. Here’s five simple suggestions to help you celebrate this year! If you want to keep money in your wallet, be a part of it…
1. Write An Anti-Love Poem
Ahhh. Nothing says love like love poems. And then again, nothing says anti-valentine’s day like anti-love poems. Get into the Anti-Valentine’s Day spirit by writing an anti-love poem to yourself. Don’t think you have the talent for writing poetry? Your kindergarten skills will do just fine. Remember the infamous ‘Roses are Red, violets are blue’ spill? Use it. After all, the only person you’re trying to impress is you! Lovely, isn’t it?
2. Treat Yourself
My ex always had a saying that went, ‘Why cheat yourself, when you can treat yourself?’ Of course, he was self-centered and conceited (which is why he’s my ex-) but he had a good point. For Anti-Valentines’ Day, treat yourself nice today. You don’t have to buy anything either to do this. Going to the park, taking a walk with your dog, or having quality alone time with yourself and a book are all nice ways to ‘treat’ yourself without spending money.
3. Create An ‘All For Anti-Valentine’s Day ‘ Sign , Pin, or Sticker & Post for All to See
Need I say more? If you make a sign, you won’t have to say anything either. Everyone will already know where you stand. Besides, there’s nothing better than promoting your hate for other’s love, than by wearing a big sign proclaiming your support for Anti-Valentine’s Day. It also helps when a clerk at the store tries to sell you some stale chocolates. All you have to do is point to your Anti-Valentine’s Day signage/button and no more pressure. It just keeps getting better!
4. Don’t Purchase Anything for Anyone Other Than Yourself
I suggest not even going into the store, but every once in awhile we just have to run into the store to grab a new toothbrush or box of condoms, so whatever. Remember to stay calm while walking through the doors. I can assure you from personal experience that those chocolates and balloons are going to stare you down in the store and ask to be taken home to somebody, but you shall not be moved! You will look those red demons in the eye and break up with them then and there! (However, should you just have to pick up that flashy red box, make sure it’s for yourself. Remember, there’s nothing wrong with treating yourself on Anti-Valentine’s Day, but Mom, and all the other important people you already told you loved at Christmas time get ‘nada’ today).
5. Make A Reservation At A Fancy Restaurant For One
When you make the reservation, make sure you point out that it’s a table for one (and you want a table, not the bar (which is where they’ll try to put you!) . Remember, you want to make a point to the diner that despite it being Valentine’s Day, you’re so Anti-Valentine’s Day you’re willing to take up a whole table for you and only you. When you come in for your reservation take your time and survey the room. You may think people in the restaurant are feeling sorry for you, but more than likely, they’re envying you. They’re thinking, ‘ He must be celebrating Anti-Valentine’s Day. I could have saved myself a lot of money if I had that button too.’ Pat yourself on the back when you get this look (and you will). Also remember how little you spent for the night in comparison to the couple that had to order the most expensive thing on the menu for this ‘special occasion.’ (Even if you order the most expensive thing on the menu, you only had to pay for you, so bravo!)
Of course, there are other things you can do on this not so special, yet – very-special-day, it just takes some use of your imagination. Since you’re not going out on any dates, or making plans with anyone special right now, you have plenty of time to do just that. So, I’ll let you get to it.