Biggeekdaddy.com would like us all to believe that we can all live longer by staring at big breasts for just ten minutes a day! (The name of the website says it all.) But is this really true?
An article by a “Jonathan Hayter” that has been circulating on the web since 1999 or so is getting a lot of attention on Digg (this is probably the 1,000th time its be re-resurrected somewhere). But menfolk are diggin’ the article for a very good reason; it makes the outrageous claim that men who stare at big-breasted babes (like my favorite well-endowed woman, Christina Hendricks) for just ten minutes a day will get the equivalent health benefits of a 30-minute aerobic workout (by raising your heart rate and whatnot). This definitely sounds too good to be true, and, of course, it is!
According to Snopes.com, the article was first published back in 1997 in the ‘Weekly World News’, a tabloid that publishes insightful articles about how some of our past Presidents were really aliens and how pig/human hybrids are secretly living in forests throughout the nation. (Well, I made all of that up, but it’s very possible that the magazine has done at least one of those stories.) Anyway, if common sense wasn’t enough to tell you that this article is as fake as a majority of the big-breasted women men ogle, then its source should be.
But even if staring at big boobs doesn’t give you the equivalent of an aerobic workout, there are some ways it could be good for you. It could make you happy, or bring back childhood memories (depending on if you were breastfed; how good your memory is; and how attached your mother was to you remaining a baby), or it could make you forget about whatever stressful thing you were thinking about at the moment (like your nagging wife). And even if staring at big breasts itself has no health benefit at all, it could lead to you doing something that is very healthy for you, if you know what I mean.
And if you don’t, then I’ll tell you. Some researchers believe that frequent masturbation cuts a man’s risk of developing prostate cancer by flushing out carcinogens. So that’s great news for men, but ladies take note; don’t let them convince you anymore that ingesting that stuff is healthy!
Anyway, the next time you get in trouble for staring at a woman with big boobs, just tell your wife that you’re warming up for your special cancer prevention workout. Now if only someone would prove that saying “I’m sorry” one hundred times and sleeping on the couch are both healthy!