Young love is extremely powerful. It took me years to get over a high school relationship that left me feeling incredibly confused about love. For two years, everything seemed so powerful and intense, and I felt as if we just had to be together forever. Then I started having my doubts as my boyfriend starting talking about our future together; he wanted to have children right after high school, and I wasn’t so crazy about the idea. Plus I started wondering what else was out there in life that I would never experience if I became a little housewife right away, so we went through a horrific breakup.
Unfortunately, I soon realized that I wasn’t happy at all and couldn’t get back to living a “normal” life any more. I ended up feeling more alone than I ever had in my life and started searching desperately for another boy to feel the horrible void that I felt was left in my heart. I started wondering if I should have stayed with my ex, because no one seemed to be able to take his place. After years of depression and destructive behavior, I finally began to realize that I didn’t want to be with him again. I realized that we didn’t even ever know much about each other, because we hardly ever talked about our interests. It was all lovey-dovey crazy speak about how great our love was and how we’d always be together and all of that stereotypical young love mush. I knew all I really wanted back was that euphoric feeling that I’d experienced in the beginning, and I eventually came to realize that you can’t get that back.
I’m lucky because my husband now has helped me to realize that the love we have is the kind that matters. It’s not intense and short-lived, but long, sweet, and savory. Many other men and women out there are probably experiencing the same emotional problems I did, not realizing that their first relationship may be what is keeping them from real happiness.
Researchers say that the secret to happiness in long-term relationships is actually to avoid an intense first relationship, so you don’t end up seeking it again in your adult life. You can still have long, happy romantic relationships, however, if you learn to move on from that first love, and I’m proof of that.
So if you’re tired of your love life lacking on Valentine’s Day, do some soul-searching and learn to let go of that first love. This way, your mind will be open to finding true love that really lasts.