The EPA (Environmental Protection Agency) in it’s infinite wisdom are protecting you from my cows’ fart and belch sessions. Yes, its true. In an effort to keep the natural animal gas, via fart and belch, called methane in check, the EPA is going to tax me. The Supreme Court has declared that a fart and/or belch from a dairy cow or beef cow or pig contributes to air pollution. Naturally the EPA finds this a “taxing” situation!
The proposed EPA fees (taxes) on a dairy cow will be $175.00. Taxes on a beef cow will be $87.50 and taxes on a pig will be $20.00. These taxes are per head. If you have 20 pigs you will be paying a fart and/or belch tax of $400.00. How many livestock farmers do think can last with this proposed EPA tax? Not many, if any, is the answer.
With a livestock fart and belch tax either the farmer won’t be able to pay the tax and in turn sell off his herd. OR, the farmers will have to add enough money to cover the fart and belch tax when selling. When they do this, Americans won’t be able to afford meat.
Questions that the proposed EPA tax brings up. Why just tax farmers for cows and pigs? Our goats can knock the hide off a skunk when they belch. Anyone owning goats knows exactly what I mean! How about deer? Will they tack a fart and belch tax on the next deer you shoot? Goats and moose and deer are all ruminants. They all fart and belch. Maybe the government will pick up the deer fart and belch tax bill..yeah, right.
We raise Dexter cattle . They are a smaller sized cow. Will the EPA send someone out to measure their farts and belches? Dexters are also a dual purpose cow. They are both dairy and meat in the same animal. Will they be taxed for both? Or split the difference?
What are the motives to such an outrageous tax bill? The EPA says that its to protect the air from pollution. Huh? Some farmers thing the fart and belch tax is designed to knock American livestock producers out. Some farmers haven’t stopped laughing enough to ask their opinion.
If we figure out how to hook the truck or tractor to the rear end of the bull..can we just use the methane for fuel and not pay the fart and belch tax? I’m pretty sure Sammy the Dexter bull will have something to say about that..but the other option is the butcher. Sammy may come around to our way of thinking!
One wonders, from experience, if a few individuals walking around should be taxed by the EPA for the fart and belch sessions they have. I mean, some of the most eye crossing farts and belches have come from two leggers, not four. And they usually fart and belch indoors. Paint peeling may not be a crime yet, but who knows?
I don’t know what the answer is. As for the Dexters? They are oblivious to the fart and belch tax so far. The EPA either has too much time on its hands or the government needs money bad enough to have our cows and pigs fart and belch it up for them.