Jokes reduce Christmas Stress!~~ Those of us who have fond memories of childhood Christmases often want to re-create those days for our own families. Take me, for example. My mother did everything to perfection! We enjoyed a beautifully decorated house, a tree full of presents wrapped in stunning papers and bows, and incredible meals served at a table set with Rosenthal china and Waterford crystal. She made her own floral centerpieces, baked cookies and pastries, pressed tablecloths and napkins and prepared elegant meals from scratch. She was a marvel. I expected to be just like her!
My unrealistic expectations frequently stole my joy at Christmas. I worried more about a perfect pie crust than maintaining personal balance. One afternoon before Christmas, my husband handed me a glass of wine and told me to sit down and put my feet up. We talked about all that had to be done and about all that wasn’t necessary. After awhile, he started telling jokes. He was hilarious and made me laugh. The more I laughed the better I felt. Christmas spirit inched its way back because I lightened up, let go of unrealistic expectations and relaxed!
So, here are Christmas jokes for anyone who needs a “laughter fix” this Christmas season. If these don’t do the trick, click on the names of the family-friendly websites and search for more. I know this is one more task to add to your overly-stuffed agenda, but give it a try. The best gift we can give our families is a relaxed Christmas full of love and laughter! Years from now your family will talk about their perfect childhood Christmases and declare what a marvel you were!
What Christmas Carol is a favorite of parents? Silent Night *Why does Santa have 3 gardens? So he can ho, ho, ho! *What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes *What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite *What did the ghost say to Santa Claus? I’ll have a* “boo” Christmas without you! *How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas? Fleece Navidad!
Christmas Jokes ~~General Jokes, Dinner Jokes, Reindeer and Elf Jokes, Party Jokes, Greetings Jokes, Snowmen, Snowball, Snow Jokes
Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters? They both lose their needles. *What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas? I’ll never part with it.
What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree? A pineapple *What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve! *Who delivers cat’s presents? Santa Paws! *Why is Prancer always wet? He’s a “rain-deer!” *How many elves does it take to change a light bulb? 10. 1 to change it, and 9 to stand on each others shoulders!
Donut open until Christmas!
Holly-days are here again!
* What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice Caps! *What do snowmen eat for lunch? Ice Burgers! *What do you call an Eskimo cow? An eskimoo! * What do reindeer say before telling a joke? This one will sleigh you! *What do reindeer have that no other animals have? Baby Reindeer!
Email Santa~~Laugh at Silly Christmas Jokes
Why should Christmas dinner always be well done? So you can say “Merry Crispness!” *What’s red, white, and blue at Christmas? A sad candy cane!
What do wild animals sing at Christmastime? Jungle bells, jungle bells, jungle all the way! Where do mistletoe go to become famous? Holly-wood!
Why do mummies like Christmas so much? Because of all the wrapping! *Why does Santa always go down the chimney? Because it “soots” him!
What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a duck? A Christmas Cracker! *What does Santa say to the toys on Christmas Eve? OK, everyone. Sack time! *Who delivers presents to a dentist’s office? Santa Jaws!
Funny Christmas Jokes -Bumper Page~~Will and Guy’s Clean Christmas Jokes, One-liners, Riddles, and Funny Stories
Why is Santa a man? Because no woman would wear the same outfit year after year. *Where do sheep get their hair cut? At the baa-baa shop! *Why do reindeer scratch themselves? Because they’re the only ones who know where they itch! *Mom, can I please have a cat for Christmas? No, you’ll have turkey like the rest of us!
Who delivers Christmas presents for cats? Santa Paws! *When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving? In the dictionary *What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus? Crisp Cringle! *How does a snowman lose weight? He waits for warmer weather. *What goes “oh, oh, oh?” Santa walking backwards! * What goes red, white, red, white, red, white… Santa rolling down a hill! *What do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow! * What do you call an old snowman? Water! *What is white and goes up? A confused snowflake!
“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try and cheer someone else up.” Mark Twain
Merry Christmas, Everyone!