Before I ever had any children. I babysit to make extra income. I loved children and they loved me. I had a friend who babysit several children during the day in her home. She asked me if I could take over while she went on vacation. I told her. I have never watched that many children all at once. She says to me. The more the better! I’m thinking ya right! She said alright I’ll prove it. Come by first thing in the morning. So I did. She said you take care of the kids and I will tell you what your doing wrong. She said don’t worry you will learn real quick. You should know that everyone had there needs met. Before you showed up. Then one of the babies started crying. Naturally I went right to him and picked him up.
Thats the first thing I did wrong. She explained! Babies from the time of birth learn very quickly to cry to get attention. Even if the attention is negative. Such as getting a bath, or any other activity they may not like. I asked her. What the differense between a cry of a temper tantrum verse a cry of pain? She took me in a different room. This baby has col lick. She went on to say. He is in pain. She said listen to his cry. Learn it! His cry is far different then the other babies. I had to agree!
At some point babies learn to control there caretaker. This is when trouble starts. She explains! This is when a child screams, bang there head, throw them self down. Maybe even slam there head on the floor. Sometime’s Slam bottles or toys on the floor.
Then I asked her? What should I do? Nothing! She says! Just let the baby have a fit. Ignore the baby! ” She says”, Don’t talk to the baby and never pick them up. While having a fit. The worst thing you can do is reward them by picking them up, or putting bottles and pacifiers in there mouth. Most of all stay ( calm ) during a temper tantrum. Be consistent! With in a week you will see a new baby emerge. One that is pleasant. After all who wants to come home to a screaming baby.
If you don’t get a handle on unacceptable behavior when there toddlers. You never will!
Public tantrums: What worked for me! I was in the grocery store. My son seen another small child have a temper tantrum. He decided to have one to. So while he was having his temper tantrum. I walked around the conner. Hid behind some can goods. Watched him throw his tantrum. He suddenly realized I wasn’t their. You should of seen the look on his face. The tears stopped instantly. Then he call out to me. Mommy Mommy! I stepped out of hiding. That was the first time in the last time he pulled that stunt.
Plan ahead Let your child help you pick out canned goods, etc. When little hands are busy, little minds get less upset. Hunger and fatigue can trigger tantrums, so make sure your child is fed and rested before you go out. Boredom can also drive a tantrum. If you’re shopping or running an errand, keep there mind and body busy so they won’t have time to be bored: “I need you to help mommy.” That make’s a child feel helpful, or needed.
If the temper tantrum started because they want something at the store and you’ve said “no,” ignore the tantrum completely. Prepare to be embarrassed; it’s worth it-giving in validates the behavior. Realize that you can’t always persevere, and that’s OK!.
How can a tantrum be avoided?
Tantrums are a sign of frustration that a child can’t do something. Know what your child’s tolerance level is, and try not to push the child beyond what they are capable of doing. Tolerance levels vary; They may be able to handle a situation one day and not the next. Try to identify the situations that trigger tantrums and change them.
Let’s not forget the public meltdown where you might prefer to crawl under a table than be acknowledged as that screaming kid’s mother. While embarrassing, it’s best for all of you if you keep your cool, pick your child up and retreat to a private spot (the bathroom, your car) where you both can get through this without an audience. You’ll both feel better, and so will the audience.
Remember stay calm! Never yell, scream, or jerk a child’s arms. Once you have done that you have lost the battle. Losing control yourself, just makes matters worse.
Children are like sponges. They pick up on everything. Even behaviors, that your not aware of. Specially repeated behaviors! My son never had a temper tantrum in a store before. Then he saw another child have one. So right there is a typical, monkey see monkey due.
Children often pick up bad behaviors in day care or in school. They learn more then we like to admit from us. “The parent” We all like to think we are perfect parents. There is no such thing!
