The average brick is about 8 × 4 × 2.25 inches and is used in everything from building houses, lining furnaces to paving brick roads. They possess a certain je nes say qua……. dimension, character and strength. When trying to choose the correct brick for the job one must consider color, surface texture, density, weight and fire resistance.
While bricks are perfect for use in constructing skyscrapers, making a good pizza oven, creating an Avant-garde piece of art or even breaking windows, try talking to one. When face-to-face with a conversation with a brick wall its appeal quickly starts to fade. If talking to your mate reminds you of talking to a brick wall; your relationship could be headed for trouble.
Tug of War
When your wife says, “we need to talk” do you cringe in fear? Does a little chat with the misses conjure up vivid pictures of a fire breathing dragon spewing angry words while you dance around like a scared little monkey trying to dodge the falling cinders?
When you are taking to your husband do you get the impression that his hands are cupped tightly over his ears all the while he is screaming, “la, la, la, la, laaaa……I can’t hear you?” Maybe his eyes glaze over and you can almost smell the salt water from the nude beach his mind travels to each time you broach the subject of conversation?
The art of talking and listening is a delicate dance, swift and complex like the Tango. Effective communication requires you master both skills in order to really get your point across.
He Said, She Said
Mastering a new skill is difficult. Thus here we are, not able to really talk to or listen to one another. He says you don’t talk to him, instead you yell at him meanwhile you don’t even know what that means. He complains that talking is a mere formality because you form your opinions before you hear all the facts.
She says that you aren’t listening because, “if your lips are moving at the same time as hers…..that’s called talking, not listening.” If you are browsing highlights from the latest Yankees game, caught up in an intense scrimmage on John Madden or texting a pal, she nags that your attention is divided, so what is the point of talking?
Ok, so you both have valid points and really no one is at fault. Now is the time for tough love, or in my opinion a reality check! If you really want to be a better communicator learn to listen, and more importantly, listen to learn.The bottom line is that your mate is your mate for a reason. If they have something to say valid or otherwise you are indebted to listen at the very least. Besides, if all else fails listen with an open mind and a closed mouth, how could you go wrong? After all this is your life partner.