Before delving any further into the topic of “How to make your husband love you more,” there’s one disclaimer to be made- You cannot, in any shape or form, force anyone to feel anything for anyone else. Attempting to force a person to feel or act a certain way will inevitably lead to disaster, and will cause a definite unhappiness in the relationship- if not actually bring about the end of the relationship.
This is especially true of marriage- you can’t make your husband love you “more.” The thing about marriage is, there have already been vows and promises made of “Until death do us part.” This means that you had already accepted one another and your relationship with one another the way it was, so attempting to force new or stronger feelings or actions will actually damage your relationship.
You can’t make someone feel something they don’t already feel. If you are unsure of your relationship or your husband’s feelings for you, then either your marriage isn’t really as strong as it should be- or it could be a self-esteem issue on your part. In a situation where you feel like you need to make your husband love you more, perhaps individual counseling for yourself and even marriage counseling is a good idea.
A good counselor or therapist can help you determine whether or not your feelings are unfounded or not, and can give you some good advice about how to handle issues that arise in your relationship. If your spouse is unwilling to attend counseling or therapy sessions with you, this could signal a problem in your relationship and communication skills on both sides.
As far as making your husband love you more, accept that you can’t change how someone feels about you- or anything else. The sooner you come towards accepting this, the better for you and your marriage both. You can however, make sure that you aren’t holding back unchecked anger or resentment towards your husband and make sure you treat him with love, acceptance and respect. If you are angry or resentful, it will spill over into day to day communication and actions between the two of you, and will cause love to wane on both sides.
If you find yourself doubting your husband’s love for you, or doubt the depth of his love for you, it is perfectly acceptable to express you emotions to him. Just don’t constantly bombard him with negativity or constantly expect him to “prove” himself. Many men are not comfortable expressing emotion as freely as women are, so he may be showing his love for you in other ways. It is okay to ask him to be more vocal, but don’t demand it. Look to not just his words, but his actions. If his actions prove that he loves you, be willing to accept him and his love as is, and don’t try to change things.
Relationships are all about acceptance, respect and the ability to communicate. If your husband isn’t as vocal about his love for you as you feel he should be, yet he shows it, don’t demand that he change it. Express your feelings about it, then let it go whether he changes or not. You simply can not force change in an individual or the way they are.
If you truly believe and find that your husband doesn’t love you, then you need to decide whether or not it’s worth staying in the marriage or not. It’s strongly suggested that you seek counseling individually and/or couple’s counseling before you choose to end your marriage.
Marriage isn’t easy, and it will definitely have it’s “ups and downs,” feelings toward one another may change from one week to the next, but if you’ve made it together long enough (and only you can decide what “long enough” is!), then the verbal expression as “proof” of your husband’s love isn’t necessary.