Breaking up is never going to be easy, but a clean break is not always possible if your family are still friends with your ex-boyfriend. This can seem like the ultimate betrayal. After all, many people count on the emotional support of their family after the breakup of a relationship so that they can move on. But in instances where family members are friends with an ex, this can prove problematic.
Consider the History
Not all breakups will result in the end of pre-existing family friendships that have developed over time. For example, if your brother was best friends with your ex-boyfriend for years and was the one who introduced him to you to begin with, you can hardly expect him to break off his friendship, unless of course your ex-boyfriend was violent towards you or someone else. This can be a painful pill to swallow, as it seems as though your brother is “siding” with your ex-boyfriend rather than ending his friendship out of family loyalty to you. While your brother will undoubtedly want to help you overcome the pain of the end of the relationship, he may still feel torn between his friendship and his love and loyalty toward you. It would be best to avoid making your brother feel guilty for wanting to continue his friendship with your ex-boyfriend and to ask in return that he not mention any details about the friendship. This can help to keep the friendship separate from the end of the relationship.
If your family have remained close friends with your ex-boyfriend, there will most likely still be home visits paid to your family home from time to time. This can be difficult to accept and it can even seem like a personal snub, even though it is nothing of the sort. If it really bothers you to still see your ex-boyfriend come round your house and spend time with your dad, mention how it makes you feel. While it is only fair to allow your family to pick and choose their own friends, they should also be considerate of your feelings. Knowing when your ex-boyfriend will be coming over can give you the opportunity to be out of the house at that time, if a confrontation will make you feel uncomfortable.
Many families will immediately cut off all contact with their daughter or sister’s ex-boyfriend once the breakup has been announced, particularly if the relationship was abusive. But in some instances where there was no wrongdoing and there was a pre-existing friendship, some families choose to keep the friendship intact. If they choose to carry on with the friendship it is best to talk to your family and let them know how you feel so that they can be more discreet and sensitive to your feelings.