I was at my desk when a co-worker started telling me about this book she wanted to read, but didn’t want to buy. “I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell” by Tucker Max was the book. I asked her why she didn’t want to buy it. She said she didn’t want to give the author any of her money. Intriguing. A week later, after returning from vacation, she handed me the book, and said she purchased it as an “airplane book,” which is not a compliment from an avid reader.
The cover was interesting, with Tucker, his arm around a girl with “Your Face Here” over where her face had been. Flipping it over, the first thing I see is, “My name is Tucker Man, and I am an a-hole. I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women that is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging di-head.”
It did get my attention. It also sent up a huge red flag that whatever the book contained would be instantly, (by some), forgiven because he has already confessed that he is an a-hole, as though this makes all that takes place better.
The book essentially is a series of stories that range in length from a few lines to a handful of pages that are based on the various types of sex Tucker has had, drunken events, drunken sex and frat boy like hijinks. Though some stories were funny like when a pepper spray goes off while he is having sex, it was more of the, “he finally got a taste of what he deserves,” funny.
Tucker and his friends spend large amounts of time debasing women under the guise of humor. Obviously sharp and educated, Tucker uses his intelligence to put down women in a harsh and cruel manner. He says in the book that no matter how good looking a woman is you can use insecurity to upset them, (maybe control them?) Rather than telling someone he’s not interested in them, he’ll make a point to find the weakness of that person, exploiting it and grinding the person down, taking pleasure in their dismay and tears.
He peppers these little stories with racist remarks and child like behavior such as making fun of people that are overweight. Yet, he will sleep with a “fat girl,” and eradicate her dignity by tossing her clothes out the window and making her run out naked, in an effort to avoid having to introduce her to his friends. I kid you not.
He uses his age throughout the book as an excuse for his behavior. E.g. I was only twenty-three. I was only nineteen. Yet, despite hiding behind his age, he writes the stories with apparent glee.
Tucker makes a point to mention random condom use, but apparently, if you tell him you are on birth control, or if he is having oral sex, he doesn’t bother with protection, and openly admits to having almost every STD known. It boggles me that women would sleep with someone who is possibly a walking disease. Thus far, he has not mentioned having HIV or AIDS, but how many times can you play Russian Roulette before biting the bullet. Furthermore, if seems as though he has fathered children with more than one random woman. For example, Sarah is a woman who was pregnant with Tucker’s baby, had to have an abortion because she had Cancer and required treatment. Tucker wrote, “I am always hesitant to say anything in these situations.” Just how many were there? A footnote to that story is the fact that one of his “booty calls” came over, with whom he had sex with while Sarah waited in the other room.
When reading this book, I had to do so in short bursts, as after a few minutes I could literally feel my IQ dropping from reading it. I was so especially disturbed by one comment referring to a woman he slept with, how it was not about getting laid but “taking her dignity.” Think about that. It is not even for the sexual pleasure of the act of intercourse but the act of taking someone’s dignity. This type of misogyny runs so deep that it borders on moral irresponsibility to publish this type of work, let alone make it into a movie. Do you think misogynist is too strong to describe Tucker Max? A tidbit from his “Tucker Max Female Rating System” reads as follows, “Other category: 0-star (aka wildebeest): The lowest of the low. A 1-star (common-stock pig) with a terrible personality qualifies as a wildebeest.” It further states, “There is no insult too mean or crude for her, and basic human rights do not apply to her.”
“Basic human rights do not apply to her.” That reverberates of a deep rooted hatred of women. Could it be from the repeated marriages and divorces of his parents that he mentions? Did he see their diminishing relationships and revolving marriages as a cue on how to behave, gleaning that being verbally abusive is not only acceptable but funny. Somewhere along the line Tucker was taught that is it okay to “indulge every whim,” (or perhaps his every whim were indulged by guilt ridden parents who focused more on their various relationships then their son), to behave however he pleased, and to be emotionally abusive to women. And, here is Citadel Press Books rewarding him with a book deal. Excellent!
There is only one good thing about Tucker Max and his writing; it pretty much guarantees I will always have a job working with victims of abuse, working to help them re-establish their self esteem after an encounter with an overindulged, cruel and asinine individual such as Tucker Max.
And in all serious, to the men who read this book, this is not a how to on how to treat people. It pretty much will show you how to exploit someone, get what you need and walk away. But in the end, you are alone with your prescription of penicillin and no real connection to people.
To the women who actually fill out his “application” for hooking up, I understand if you are interested in no strings attached sex, but do it with someone who is worth your while, who won’t degrade you, then write about it for frat boys around the world. Save yourself and your groin from a random STD, and get a massage instead.