What is the difference between love and obsession? Why is it so important to distinguish obsession from love? Simply put love is a committed relationship between two people who respect each other’s needs. Obsession on the other hand is a controlling, disillusioned relationship between two people, one or both of whom, are not respectful toward each other. There is a huge difference between romantic love and obsession.
People in a committed relationship of love have interests outside of the relationship. They feel free to pursue these interests, without the interference or objection of their partner. People experiencing obsession may resent and even forbid the outside interests of their partners. They view outside interests as a betrayal, rather than respecting their partner’s right to a full and happy life.
Love is blind?
No, a loving relationship is not blind, but obsession sometimes is. Obsession is a relationship where the other person is idolized. Their faults are not seen, because the obsessed party has not yet gotten to know them as a person. When faults are revealed, instead of accepting them, the person with the obsession is shocked by them and overreacts. Love means not only tolerating, but embracing the faults and differences of our life partners.
People in a loving relationship will experience a twinge of jealousy from time to time. They will go to the person they love and discuss these feelings rationally. Together they will work out a solution that makes them both comfortable. People experiencing obsession will become angry and demanding when experiencing jealousy. They will assume their feeling to be correct without any further discussion. This anger born from obsession, insecurity and jealousy will often lead to violence and irrational behavior.
Fantasy verses reality
The obsessive relationship is often one sided. The obsessed person has an illusion of a serious relationship with someone who may only consider them as a friend or acquaintance. In a love relationship, both parties are equally committed and have no illusions concerning the feelings of the other individual. Important issues have been discussed and agreed upon by both parties. The love relationship is based in reality.
Being on the receiving end of an obsession is no fun. It may be tempting to be idolized, but in the long run, it is unhealthy and dangerous for both parties. If you find yourself in this situation, the best approach is to make your feelings known from the outset. Do not allow this person to wallow in obsession to the point where you are dealing with a dangerous love crazed maniac. If things do escalate, call the police immediately. Do not attempt to deal with this individual on your own.
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The Connection Between Depression, Self Expression and Abusive Relationships
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