The below article is not an actual advertisement. Most of you out there are smart enough to figure that out for yourselves, but I need to stay out of trouble with the webmasters. Besides, you never know with some people. They’ve had to put those “do not stick pizza box in oven” and “do not put plastic bag over head” warnings on there for a reason, you know.
Have you ever dreamed of an exciting career in politics? Have you ever seen yourself working in the highest levels of office, side by side with the President of the United States himself? Well, now you can make that dream a reality! There has never been a better time, than right now, to make those dreams come true, and the best part is, there is no experience required! Yes, you read that right, no experience required! You’ll receive on-the-job training in everything you’ll ever need to know about running the country, from balancing the budget, to foreign policy, even national security!
Want to learn more? Just read these testimonials…
“I’ve never run a state, never run a city or a town, a business, or even managed so much as a laundry mat, but with the help of my friends in the media, the congress, and a little advice from five former presidents during a luncheon in the White House, I’ll have no trouble at all running our country! Besides, I’ll always have Joe Biden to turn to if I get stuck on anything! He’ll give me all the on-the-job training I’ll need! If I can do it, so can you! Oh, and don’t forget… only the government can solve your problems!”… Barack H. Obama, Team Leader.
“I love to travel! I’ve been all over the world with my husband, Bill, back when he was President of the United States! I’ve entertained foreign dignitaries in the White House, and I got to meet all kinds of interesting people overseas! I’ve given speeches in Northern Ireland, Macedonia, and even a real rip-roarin’ one in Beijing! Not that those speeches actually changed anything, and I kinda exaggerated my ‘under fire’ experience in Bosnia, but you should’ve seen those Ho Chi Minh hats Chelsea and I tried on in Vietnam! Those were so cool! You can’t get any better foreign policy experience than this! Thank you, Team Obama!”… Hillary R. Clinton, new Secretary of State.
“I’ve worked on civil rights, education, health and environment issues, been chairman of lots of organizations, I’ve even written a book about President Nixon! I’ve also written the Hunger Prevention Act, The Fair Employment Practices Resolution, and I’ve also helped establish the Monterey Bay National Marine Sanctuary! What do all of these have to do with national security and intelligence? Absolutely nothing! However, thanks to Team Obama, I’ll know everything I need to know about spying! Besides, I like James Bond movies. Those gadgets are really cool! I can’t wait until I get my laser wristwatch! I do get one of those, right?”… Leon E. Panetta, new Director of the Central Intelligence Agency.
Interested yet? Ready to get to work? Send in your resume now, positions are going fast! Join Team Obama today, and do your part in bringing about the “change we need”!
Fear not, America. This is your new White House Staff.