Parenting methods using corporal punishment are now being frowned upon by society. This does not stop some parents though, from being physically violent when infractions are committed by their children.
We are often horrified by what we hear on the news about parents losing their temper and inflicting serious harm to their child. They would feel sorry afterwards, but the deed has been done already – physical injury has been committed. In fact, there were times that a child had died accidentally in the hands of an enraged parent.
Here are some pointers for parents who often lose control when angry:
1. Don’t touch your child when you’re angry.
The rule of thumb is not to start spanking when you’re so mad. In your anger, you would not be able to stop, even when your child would be screaming in pain. Tell him calmly to go to his room and you’ll talk to him later. Go someplace where you can relax.
When you’ve calmed down, that should be the only time that you should talk to him.
2. Don’t have a “head to head banging” with your child.
You’re the parent; don’t stoop down to the level of your child. If he screams and yells, don’t do likewise. Remember, you’re the adult; you’re supposed to be more level-headed; sent him to his room until he is ready to speak to you in a normal tone.
If he is stubborn, ground him, don’t allow him his privileges, freeze his allowance and show him that he has to follow rules as he is still under your roof. Do this until he learns how to show respect.
3. Don’t get drunk when you confront your child.
When you’re drunk, it is usually very easy to be violent as you would not be rational. Talk to him when you’re sober and he would respect you more. And don’t talk to him too, if he is under the influence of alcohol. A drunken person could not think straight.
4. Avoid corporal punishment.
Parenting also needs some psychology. Use the positive approach. Appeal to his conscience. Notice his good traits and focus less on his negative ones. If the transgression has been committed for the first time, give him a second chance. Everybody deserves a second chance.
5. For younger children, reward their positive behavior.
Sometimes the child just wants to catch your attention. We hear of children often doing something “bad”, so that their parents would “notice” them. Be wise to be able to discern this and take appropriate measures. Spend quality time with your child to let him know that you do love him. If he has this assurance, he would be more self-confident and less troublesome.
6. Don’t allow yourself to get angry. Take deep breaths and relax.
Inhale deeply, hold it up to a count of ten, and then exhale slowly. Do this ten times. Don’t talk to him, until your breathing has returned to normal. When you’re able to relax, talk to him in normal tones. Don’t shout, shouting does not stress your point, it weakens it. Good communication could solve lots of misunderstandings between you and your child. But this could only happen when you’re both sober and receptive.
Your child is a gift from heaven. Treasure him and take care of him properly. You would be a great contributory factor to what and who he would grow up to be. Utilize this great chance of making a difference in this world by allowing your child to grow up in an atmosphere of understanding and love.