So have you seen or heard that saying? I saw it most often associated with Fred Thompson’s short bid for the Republican nomination last spring. Have you ever seen so few words be such good advice? The last time 9 words were so apropos was when I cited Ronald Reagan last week in my article about his quotes and his admonition “The most terrifying words in the English language are: ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help.'”
So can anyone with any common sense tell me why the nine words that comprise my title are not the epitome of sound advice?
Lemme see here . . . We were attacked in the 1990’s repeatedly – the first WTC attack, the Kobar Towers bombing, the al-Qaeda attacks on the two African Embassies and of course the USS Cole attack which killed 17 American naval personnel. We were attacked in the 1970’s – the seizure of the American diplomats in Tehran who were then held for 444 days. We were attacked numerous times in the 1980’s – the jet that was hijacked and the terrorists singled out and killed an American serviceman, and the attack on the cruise ship “Achille Lauro,” where an American Jew confined to a wheelchair was thrown overboard by the terrorists.
And our response to these attacks were slight, if at all. And with 9/11 came the terrorists sealing their own fates – the signing of their death warrants by the United States, its government and its citizens.
So it seems to me “killing the terrorists” is a damned fine idea.
Now we move to the insanity of daring to secure our own national and sovereign borders. Why is this a tough concept to grasp? Interlope into Russia uninvited and gimme a call if you’re found before you freeze to death in a Siberian gulag. Sneak into Mexico illegally. Try and get a job or better yet, try to sponge off their welfare system, such as it is. From what I hear, them Mexicans are none to nice to us interloping gringos.
But by all means defame as hater anyone who dare advocate that American sovereign territory is really just selfishness on our parts. How dare we try to keep all this bounty for ourselves, huh? We should be citizens of the world! One planet, one government and all that crap! But no one dare to interlope into another nation unlawfully. I mean them poor nations have every right to lock you up or throw you out if you trespass illegally, but in the US if ya do it the big thinkers will welcome you and tell you any American who finds you to be an “illegal alien” is just a bigoted hater.
And now we get to the meat of the argument – “Punch the Hippies!” As Austin Powers would say “yeah, Baby!” As a former hippie who eventually grew up, I say yeah, punch their ignorant lights out! So, exactly who are these hippies in need of punching?
Let’s start with jacking Bill Ayer’s jaw loose from its hinge. And San Fran Nan could stand a good rogering as well as a slap in the face – that chick has her panties cinched way too tight. There’s nothing wrong with America hating former U of Colorado professor Ward Churchill that a swift kick in the ass can’t fix. Tom Hayden and Jane Fonda could stand a good beat down too. Shame they ain’t married anymore – one trip, two ass whuppin’s, but then she married another hippie, Ted Turner, so if we could get all three in one room we could get a threefer – ya know, three for the price of one – a threefer!
Barney Frank and Chris Dodd, while not strictly hippies, talk like idiots, a la hippies, so they need a good eye dotting as well!
Better yet, why don’t we non-hippie like fools take a lesson from history. Them super smart peeps are always calling any Conservative, myself including, a religious nutjob, so let’s give ’em a dose of religious craziness. And considering I am an agnostic Conservative I get a good chuckle when a naysayer tells me I’m a brainwashed evangelical, like one did just the other day, so yeah, let’s show ’em how the real religious nuts did it.
It’s high time for a return of the Spanish Inquisition, American style. Let’s see a return to burning at the stake, ducking and pressing like the Puritans in the Salem Witch Trials did, and stuff like that. Now that’s some religious persecution.
And that ducking really rocked. Ya duck the hippie/naysayer/super smart Lib under the water and hold ’em there for say 2 minutes. If they drown, they weren’t bewitched by ’em ere Godless Commies, therefore they will be pronounced “cleansed.” And if they survive the ducking that is proof positive they are bewitched by the Godless Commies, and then we can proceed to the pressing or better yet, stake burning!
“I love the smell of burning hippie in the morning . . . smells like VICTORY!”