If you are a hardcore Lost fan, you are probably having heart palpitations every time you see a commercial for season 5 of Lost. Perhaps you stay awake at night formulating Lost theories (you’re wrong, by the way), or scour the internet in hopes of finding some leaked morsel of Lost information to give you enough of a fix to get you by until season 5 of Lost begins on January 21.
If you need to add some excitement to your life until Lost starts again, consider the following Lost-related activities to pass the time.
1. Fear the Lost “Smoke Monster” – Anytime you see smoke, pretend it’s the smoke monster from Lost. This works particularly well in a public place. If a stranger near you begins smoking a cigarette, slowly look up at the billowing smoke with an ever-increasing amount of panic on your face. When you have sufficiently freaked them out, take it a step further. Defiantly, perhaps with a tear in your eye, proclaim, “My memories are my own, peer into the soul of another!”
2. Play Kate on the run – Anytime you make eye contact with someone on the street, back away slowly while maintaining eye contact. Then run away screaming, occasionally looking back over your shoulder in sheer terror. When the proper authorities tackle you, and they will if you do this often enough, scream “Mama, MAMA, Why’d you have to turn me in?”
3. Play the Lost flash-back, flash-forward game – Go about your day completely out of order. Assuming you have a job, your boss will likely become quite upset with you. That’s okay, this means it’s time for a flash-back. See, when you are in flash-back mode, you will have no memory of what you have just done, because it was in the future. So, how can the guy fire you? He can’t! If he does try, once again, no big deal. Keep flashing-back to your pre-fired state. Repeat as needed.
4. Do the creepy island whisper from Lost – The whispering on the island really freaks me out. The whisperers could be talking about what to have for dinner for all I know, but I guess the island voices discussing meatloaf loudly wouldn’t be as scary as unintelligible whispering. Have a little fun with Lost-like whispering. It doesn’t matter what you are saying, just whisper in a creepy way wherever you go. If someone makes a big deal about it, repeat Lost activity #3 above. You don’t have to own up to what you haven’t done yet!
5. Decide between Sawyer and Jack – Spend the day pretending to be Kate. Get all disheveled (kinda like you’ve been stranded on an island) and try to finally decide between Sawyer and Jack already! Despite your best efforts, you will obviously end the day without having made a decision. You know why? It’s impossible to choose between smokin’ hot and smokin’ hot. If you had access to Sawyer and Jack, you’d take both, too. No-no-no, don’t act like you’re better than that, we all know that you would.
I have a few more ideas about how to waste time while you wait for season 5 of Lost to begin, but they involve polar bears, frozen donkey wheels, and do-it-yourself surgical procedures. Maybe we’ll try those while waiting for season 6.