Revealing one’s sexual past can cause another person to judge that person. The judgment is based on that other person’s ideals, sexual attitude, morals, and beliefs. So it can be tricky to decide whether or not to reveal one’s sexual past to their current partner. Even if one decides to reveal their sexual past, how much detail should be given, are numbers important, and what details should be included?
Before considering whether or not to reveal sexual history with your partner or the person (or people) you are currently sexually active with you need to consider how it may impact your current situation. Depending on the person’s reaction, you might find yourself out of a relationship or sexual partner or you might increase trust between you and your sexual partner.
Also considering the other person’s values and views regarding sexuality can give you good insight in what information or how much information to reveal. Details such as how many people you’ve slept with or been sexually active with, locations of such acts, or expressing fond memories of past sexual experiences may be something you’ll want to avoid. Your partner may or may not be bothered by the number of sexual partners you’ve had, but even the most sexually liberal individuals might have second thoughts if all you do is boast or reminisce to them about your sexual encounters.
The level of comfort between two people and the time spent being romantically involved should and will affect the amount of information one discloses about past sexual encounters. For some people, the revelation of their partner’s sexual history can actually be a turn on. Experienced sexual partners tend to make better companions in the bedroom and the knowledge that may come with sexual experience could make sex with a current partner the best they’ve ever had.
Perhaps the most important issue in deciding whether or not to reveal one’s sexual past is the issue of health and safe sex. If a person knows that they have an STD or HIV or AIDs, it is only right to inform your partner because they can potentially contract the disease from you. Many sexual health experts urge regular testing and encourage people to inform past and present sexual partners of any new diseases if there was a chance of contracting it.
Whether or not the partner judges the person based on their having an STD or not shouldn’t determine whether or not sexual health issues are revealed. Revealing sexual health issues can help the couple better protect both people from transmitting diseases to one another.
Overall, revealing sexual history with your current partner is completely up to you. However when another person’s health may be at risk, you have a responsibility to inform those you’ve been sexual with or currently being sexual with about your STD or HIV status. It may be a hard topic to discuss but the health and safety of another person may be in your hands. Respect and trust are just two of the many benefits of revealing sexual pasts when it comes to sexual health, revealing the number of partners and detailed experiences of sexual encounters is a personal decision.