Quarreling, angry children become quarreling and angry teenagers and then quarreling and angry adults. The issue is character and character training is the responsibility of every parent.
Sibling rivalry really is revealing your child’s character and issues that need parental training and assistance.
Here are some issues that may be daily seen in your children’s relationship with one another. These are evidence of a need to deal with sibling rivalry.
1. Ability to get along with others outside of the home but an intolerance of siblings weakness’ or immaturity.
2. Refusal to share. This is mine that is yours. Hands off attitude expressed primarily toward sibling.
3. Name calling. Picking on sibling and naming weakness’ out loud. “Your nose is big.” “Your stupid.”
4. Jealousy issues. Demanding of attention from parents and resenting any attention given to sibling. Resenting celebrations that surround the sibling. Openly complaining over something that was given to their sibling and not them.
It is important for the parent to take a good look at the behavior mentioned above that is being reflected in the lives of their children. As the parent realizes that this behavior is dysfunctional not just the norm they will gain the strength needed to address the roots of this behavior. Here are some tips to addressing the roots to sibling rivalry.
Answer these questions:
When did this behavior begin to manifest? Was it noticed at the birth of the second child or was this behavior seen even before the birth during the pregnancy of the second child?
What do you think the root of the conflict is? Is it fear of losing your love? Is it anger and hatred?
Meeting together as a family and leading healthy discussions as a family can bring healing to emotions and hurts and can bring closure to the disagreements. Share with your children your ideal for them. Let them know that you love them both (or all). Let them know that it hurts you when they disrespect each other as they are each so important to you. Talk to your children about name calling and set up disciplines for any name calling that you over hear. Teach them daily about forgiveness and love.
You will see that as you address this issue as a family is will be resolved. Those things that you as a parent face with boldness and openness will be dealt with as a family and behaviors that you have seen for a long time will change. As you speak your desires daily your children will begin to conform to the desires that you share with them. If you share that you desire for everyone to quietly get ready for school without any quarrels that is building a desire in them for the same. Reward good behavior. Reward changes in attitude and attempts to get along with each other.
A healthy family will begin to emerge and come forth. You will find that mornings are easier and that your children begin to adopt your attitude toward quarreling and bickering..it will stop. You will see them begin to share and consider one another. It will be easier to parent them in this new peaceful environment. It is worth every effort that you put forth. They will form relationships and friendships with one another that will stand the test of a life time.