Being a pastor’s wife is tough. Although it can be rewarding the path can be fraught with frustration. In reality, it can seem as though he is married to the church and you are the mistress. You get to spend time with your husband when he is not spending it with someone else.
Pastor’s wives often have to give up jobs to follow their husband’s many career moves. Other wives serve as secretaries to the church or work from home because it fits better with their husbands’ careers.
When we are introduced by church members to other people we lose our names and our identities. Sometimes, it can feel as though we are not ourselves. It’s easy to get the idea that we are an afterthought or that we function as an adjunct to the pastor.
Pastor’s wives are expected to be recipients of confidential information. We are expected to work alongside our husbands and to be silent at church committee meetings. There is a lot of pressure for a lot of different sources.
Burnout and depression are common among pastor’s wives. Unfortunately, so is divorce. Fortunately, there are things we can do to take care of ourselves.
Yes, there is support for pastor’s wives. Your denomination may have something. There are also chat rooms and support groups available online.
Take care of yourself physically.
Get enough sleep. Eat well-balanced meals. Get exercise. Even a brisk walk for 30 minutes a day can be a great stress reliever.
Take care of yourself spiritually.
Pray and do devotions daily. Pastor’s wives need devotions too. You must keep yourself firmly grounded spiritually before you can help ground others.
Your church should allow your husband one day off a week. If not, encourage your husband to work out setting a distinct day off. You both need it.
Watch your finances.
Don’t go in debt any more than you must. Strained finances add to the stress and strain on your marriage.
Take care of yourself emotionally.
Find a group of friends outside the church or among other pastor’s wives. If you have trouble finding friends try taking a class in something you’ve always wanted to learn. Taking up a hobby can be a great way to meet people.
Peruse websites to find other ways to take care of yourself as the pastor’s wife.
Some websites are: