When it comes to talking to your kids about sex, there is really no right way to do it. It all depends on your unique relationship with your kids and the way that you believe that they should think when it comes to sex. If you are a member of a church or you have a strong disagreement with premarital sex, chances are that you will want your kids to remain abstinent from sex until they are married. If you believe that sex is not something that should only be shared between married couples, which most single parents do, you will want your kids to be educated enough about sex and the emotions that go along with it to make their own decisions.
No matter what your beliefs are or your attitude about sex is, most parents make the big mistake of not understanding that these are your views and they are not necessarily shared by your kids. If they do not believe that sex should only be shared between married people, then try to understand their point of view. In today’s society, it is nearly impossible to shield your kids from all of the sexual influences that they are exposed to on a daily basis. As your kids get older, they will see more and more sexual content and they will sooner or later realize that your stance on no sex until marriage does not apply to most people these days. As much as you may want to or try to, you cannot be in the same room as your kids every second of every day so your best plan of attack in teaching your kids about sex is to educate them and also let them know that you do not approve of sex until marriage. At the same time, you will need to understand that they will make their own decision about it and all you can hope is that you have raised them with the proper tools to make the right decision for them.
The most important thing that you can do when it comes to talking to your kids about sex is to make sure that you sit them down and not only tell them all of the technical stuff, but you also need to try to relate to them and answer any questions that they may have and share some personal experiences from when you were their age to go along with your beliefs and why you believe the way that you do. If you try to get down on their level as a parent about this subject, you will be more successful in getting them to not only listen to you but also to open up about any experiences that they may have already had or their thoughts on sex. This is not the time to express your disagreement with their choices and to forbid them activities that you did not have a problem with until your conversation with them. The point of this conversation is to not only educate your kids about sex but also reassure them that you are here to talk if they ever want to.
When it comes to sex, I do not agree with telling your kids that they are not allowed to have sex with anyone until they become an adult. This is unrealistic for a lot of teens and forbidding it will only make them more curious and want to seek out sex and sexual situations that they would not have otherwise done if you had not forbidden it. It is best to teach them about what a big deal it is and educate them on protecting themselves and having safe sex all the time. If you give them the proper tools to make decisions, they will be more independent about their own lives and having control of it. Just like with everything else in this stage of their lives, they will make mistakes that they will need to live with, but if you give the chance to make their own decisions, they are more likely to make the right choices. The best thing that you can do as their parents is to be there for them no matter what the outcome is and support them.
As far as talking to your kids about sex, the first and most important step that you can take as their parent is to talk to them about it and let them have the opportunity to ask questions without criticism. Rest assured, if you do not talk to your kids about sex and you do not allow them to feel comfortable about talking to you about it and asking questions freely, someone else will. You do not know who will be talking to your kids and you do not what they will be telling your kids about sex, and that can be scary. That is why it is so important to talk to your kids about sex, no matter what your views are.