There is no Holiday in which more people are left out of the celebration than Valentines Day. Nothing quite like being unattached and seeing couples slobbering all over one another with public displays of affection when you’ve just had your heart ripped out. Whether your ex cheated, became a psycho, control freak, or joined a religious cult, most of us have been there, done that.
Even though I am married now and have put all that behind me, I can still relate to those of you feeling left out by all your friends and coworkers with their balloons, flowers and chocolates. As that great philosopher Forrest Gump said “laff is lack abocksa choclits” but with these ten tunes, you do know what “yer gonna git”. Some rocking, some more reflective, but all Anti-Valentines Day songs. On with the countdown:
Poison, Alice Cooper
Your cruel device, your blood like ice, one look could kill, my pain, your thrill, I want to taste you but I better not touch, I want to taste you but your lips are venomous poison.
One of the last hits by the 70’s and 80’s shock rocker, this song belies what a teddy bear Vincent Fournier aka Alice Cooper is said to be. The guy is quite a golfer, I hear, although I doubt that much of his music is played around stuffy Bushwood type country clubs.
The Salt In My Tears, Martin Briley
I was in an on again off again kind of deal in 1983 when this Anti-Valentines Day song hit the charts and definitely could relate to this catchy, hook-laden tune and the withering lyrics directed toward an ex-lover.
Feeling neglected, used and rejected, you need a shoulder to lean upon, maybe you’ve picked him, found your next victim, don’t worry someone will come along, I broke the spell that you put me under, I’d had enough of the rain and thunder, I lost track of the time and wonder why, but I won’t cry for the wasted years, ’cause you ain’t worth the salt in my tears..
I’ll sit around and drink a few more beers, until the memory just disappears, ’cause you ain’t worth the salt in my tears..
Martin Briley disappeared just as quickly as he came on the scene, but this song lives on as an Anti-Valentines Day anthem. Oh yeah, the young woman who jerked me around? She had been married 5 times at last count, so I count myself fortunate not to have gotten to add to that number. Living well is the best revenge.
Like A Rolling Stone, Bob Dylan
Once upon a time, you dressed so fine, threw the bums a dime in your prime, didn’t you? People’d call, say beware doll, you thought they were all kiddin’ you, you used to laugh about everybody that was hangin’ out, now you don’t talk so loud, now you don’t seem so proud…
For years, this was the ultimate Anti-Love song, but it will do just fine for an Anti-Valentines Day playlist. Bob Dylan might not have the most soothing voice, but the guy was a great songwriter.
What It Takes, Aerosmith
This song was released in 1990 as Aerosmith was making a comeback from substance abuse problems by some in the band. Like most of these songs, this one came at a time when I was struggling with a relationship and these Anti-Valentines Day songs soothed the hurt somewhat.
Girl before I met you, I was F-I-N-E fine, but your love made me a prisoner, yeah my heart’s been doin’ time, you spent me up like money then you hung me out to dry…tell me what it takes to let you go, tell me how the pain’s supposed to go, tell me how it is that you can sleep at night without thinking you lost everything that was good in your life to the toss of the dice..
Kiss This Thing Goodbye, Del Amitri
Also in 1990, the Scottish band Del Amitri released this tune complete with banjos and kind of a rockabilly sound. There are no Deliverance scenes in the video, however.
It seems like weeks since you looked at me baby without that look of distaste, I don’t know why your feelings are changing, but I see it in your face, all those times that our lips were kissing, our tongues were telling lies, and all those signs that I’ve been missing were right there in your eyes… so come on babe let’s kiss this thing goodbye, better make it sooner than later, before it all turns sour.
Very catchy song, enjoy as an anti-Valentines Day anthem.
Love Hurts, Nazareth
Another hard rocking band of Scotsmen, Nazareth remade this song in 1976, written by Boudleaux Bryant and first performed by the Everly Brothers, then Roy Orbison. The soaring guitars and gritty vocals by Dan McCafferty make this a song that anyone who’s ever had their heart broken can relate to.
Love hurts/love scars/ love wounds/ it marks/ any heart/ not tough/ or strong enough/ to take a lot of pain/ take a lot of pain/ love is like a cloud/ holds a lot of rain/love hurts.
Scars, Papa Roach
I tear my heart open, sew myself shut, my weakness is that I care too much, and my scars remind me that the past is real, I tear my heart open just to feel/ I can’t help you fix yourself, but at least I can say I tried, I’m sorry but I’ve got to move on with my own life. Speaks for itself, huh? I can relate after attempting such a project.
Wake Up Call, Maroon 5
The story of a guy walking in on his significant other in bed with another man. I’m not condoning violence, in that situation, however, who knows what a person might do? To me it’s more of a fantasy of what the guy might do and who hasn’t thought about such a thing when wronged that badly?
Wake up call caught you in the morning, with another one in my bed, don’t you care about me anymore?/ don’t you care about me?/ I don’t think so! / 6 foot tall came without a warning, so I had to shoot him dead/ he won’t come around here anymore.
As long as one doesn’t take it literally, it’s quite a song for an Anti-Valentines Day get together.
The Time Of Your Life (Good Riddance), Green Day
Most think of this song as some sort of sentimental tribute. The song was cued up for John Elway’s farewell to the NFL in the Super Bowl when it seemed certain that Elway would retire. The song was used in the final Seinfeld episode in 1998 as a backdrop to a montage of scenes from the funniest show in TV history in my opinion. Most would be wrong about the song, however.
Note the Good Riddance in parenthesis in the title. Billie Joe Armstrong said in an interview that the song was about a breakup with a young lady who moved to another country. He was trying not to be bitter and move on with his life Armstrong said, but it’s not hard to see the irony.
Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road/ time grabs you by the wrist directs you where to go/ so make the best of this test and don’t ask why/ it’s not a question but a lesson learned in time/ it’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right/ I hope you had the time of your life.
To me that’s another way of saying don’t let the door hit you on the way out, then turning the page to a “living well is the best revenge” type attitude.
I Think I’ll Disappear Now, Crash Test Dummies
I don’t know if this song was released as a single or not, I discovered the tune on the Dummies CD God Shuffled His Feet. It’s about a guy having an accidental encounter with an old love. Been there, done that. Hopefully never again.
Running into you like this without a warning/ is like catching a sniff of tequila in the morning/ but I’ll try, try to keep my food down/ that’s quite an aftertaste that you left now that you’re not around… I think I’ll disappear now, slip out sideways, just for awhile/but until then, I’ll stay in and sleep late, excuse me..
That’s ten songs to start the festivities of Anti-Valentines Day. Other activities could be getting together with friends in similar situations, maybe going out to dinner or to a sporting event. Why not both? Having the support of others in the same situation helps. Maybe renting a couple of comedies about the pitfalls of relationships could take your mind off of what you don”t have.
If you can, don’t spend the evening moping alone. get together with family members, if possible. Maybe find a singles group having activities of some kind. Don’t feel as if you’re the only person in your situation and don’t rush into another relationship. You don’t have to take the first bus that comes along, there will be another in a few minutes.
Last of all, don’t lose hope, if I can find someone to put up with me, anyone can.
