You could walk in briskly to a local coffee shop or bookstore and never notice her. She was a wallpaper woman-blent right into the background. If you did have a discerning eye for fellowman in pain- you would inevitably find her, crumpled up hopelessly in a corner like an old high school graduation picture,collecting dust and fading perpetually. She was always frowning about some obsessive compulsive detail of her day that had gone astray from the way she had planned. Today was no exception.
This particular day on the way to work she had been three minutes late from her typical departing time of ten minutes early. This may not sound like much to you- or me…and we might breathe a little bit easier in her place, but Saddy could not handle the excessive stoplights this particular morning. No…she had plenty to think about already besides the crazy drivers in downtown Manhattan.
The extra stoplights gave her time to ridicule herself for her recent four pound weight gain, and to notice that her black panty hose- the absolute worst color for a tear as all women know- were infact torn in two places. She also had time to scream out obscenities at a failing relationship which was only satisfactory sexually and terribly tragic in all other respects. For her, it was always a matter of the next responsibility he would dodge, or incomplete truth he would tell.
She had been granted special permission to return home one day earlier from a business conference. Defeatedly, she tossed down the only two brown leather pieces of luggage in the world that could rival the fatigue in her eyes. She popped on the television and shrieked helplessly as the largest penis- probably in human history- scrolled dizzily across the screen. Shed been gone less than two days, and he had been watching pornos again. He hadn’t even respected her enough to try to hide it. Everyone was getting screwed but she was the only one who actually felt it.
They had several conversations about the topic and he always promised to make the changes she required for their happiness and future, but like everything else to Stan, it was all always negotiable. You cant trust a guy named Stan- its just another “negotiation” between stop/ and. She was not taking him seriously these days. The fantasizing about children, a home, and having a life together had ceased many tears ago. Passion, anger, happiness…were estranged foster children to this relationship. This relationship was now the bastard child of neutrality. Nobody gave a shit enough to change and everybody was too tired to bring it up.
And now all the extra stoplights. She peeled off her tattered panty hose and wore her naturally unshaven (for one week) legs out. “F*&k anyone whos not too busy to criticize me”, she thought as she raced through the double doors, her heart quickening every step of the way. She needed stress management, no anger management..no stress management.
The day stretched out before her like a family cat and quickly collapsed like a circus tent as night dropped its mystical shawl over employees and strangers alike. Layouts were printed, contracts were drafted, signatures were made, checks were cut…and so forth until her temples exploded. Her last thought, the last one she can remember at least was whether she had left her glasses on her desk or if she would have to go back in for them. Someone stifled her from behind as she approached her car. This was truly a tragedy. Saddy was working late again and life just kept playing the same cruel jokes. She would again be punished for her devotion.