Sometimes I read newspapers and magazines and I watch TV shows and, when the latest ‘news’ comes on, I think, “How stupid. Who cares?” The last couple of weeks seems to have been a boon for stupid news stories, but this week has had some of the silliest. Here are what I think are the Top 5 silliest news stories in the last week. See if you agree.
5. A Cake Icing Request for 3-Year old Adolf Hitler Denied – Apparently, there are still parents in this world who don’t have a brain. Two of them named their 3 year old child Adolf Hitler, then seemed very surprised when some of the cake decorating stores they frequent wouldn’t decorate a cake with his name on it. They also have another child with the middle name, Aryan Nation, yet still have the cheek to say they’re ‘not racist’ at all and can’t understand why people are appalled. Seriously, who cares? You’re idiots and your poor kids are destined to be shunned or laughed at their whole lives.
4. Robbers Demanded Homeowner’s Eggbeater – Huh? Two guys in Tampa, Florida, apparently broke into a guy’s house, threatened him with a knife and a gun and demanded he give them his eggbeater. They were arrested outside by police, who found the eggbeater in one of the robber’s pockets. An eggbeater? You risk your freedom and your life for an eggbeater? What the hell is wrong with you?
3. Kidnapping Expert Kidnapped in Mexico – Apparently, a guy who is an expert in kidnapping and who, for a living, travels all over the world teaching vulnerable people how to stay safe from kidnappings was actually kidnapped himself. Yep. In Mexico. Now, how could you possibly go back to your job as a kidnapping expert after you’d been snatched by a kidnapper? I mean, really. Who’d pay you?
2. China’s Foreign Minister Watching Journalists and Their Shoes – Of course, I had to laugh at this one. It was reported that China’s Foreign Minister said that, from now on, he’s going to be watching for journalists with shoes. This, after President Bush had a pair of shoes thrown at him by a journalist in Iraq. I guess Liu Jianchao’s policies mustn’t be popular either, if he’s worrying about being smacked in the head with a shoe. As far as George Bush goes, that bit of news footage made by week. Nothing funnier than watching George Bush dodge flying shoes while you’re eating your breakfast.
1. Jennifer Aniston’s Nipples – The news media is actually talking about Jennifer Aniston and her nipples or ‘pokies’ as the fake ones she wears are called. I mean, really, who cares? So, Jennifer Aniston likes to wear fake nipples so that they poke out of her sweater. And people are actually wasting ink and paper on reporting this. (And before you start, I’m not wasting either. All my writing is in cyberspace, so no natural resources wasted on this Jennifer Aniston nipples story).
Hope this lot made you laugh. I mean, if it didn’t, you’d have to cry. The world is going to hell in a hand basket and the news media thinks Jennifer Aniston’s nipples and Adolf Hitler’s cake are newsworthy. And we wonder why people are becoming less and less educated?