Much like an ocean tide affects the appearance of a sandy beach, the ebb and flow of a good marriage changes the perspectives of a married couple. Life is a constantly changing process, and a good marriage is not immune to the flow of good and bad episodes. If both members of a marriage have a keen sense of awareness, they can benefit and learn from the experiences and create a stronger bond – one that will last a lifetime.
Good and bad times come and go for us all, whether we are married or single. In a marriage, occasionally the bad times are brought on by our own misguided judgments and not only impact our individual lives, but negatively impact the happiness of our spouses. When this occurs in a marriage, and it will at some point, there is a requirement to quickly resolve any lingering feelings of guilt or blame. To allow a self-made disaster to fester is to allow a division in the relationship, the original problem intensifies, and may eventually grow beyond the point of being repairable.
In a good marriage, the responsibility of decision making is shared equally. However, the individual steering the ship so to speak shifts back and forth between partners frequently. Perhaps in a particular instance one partner has strong feelings and the other is unable to make a decision. In this case an individual may defer their choice to those of their partner, as their judgment is trusted unconditionally. In these situations, if the decision is later proven to be a poor choice, it is imperative that both partners take equal blame and move on.
Likewise, both partners in a good marriage need to realize that there is a definite ebb and flow to the relationship – good and bad episodes will present themselves, their duration can be impacted by a couple with a strong bond. The ability to keep long range goals in clear sight together and resisting the urge to drift apart can be an arduous task indeed. While a married couple represent a mutual desire, there are still components of individuality that must be considered. Particularly in the worst of times, this individuality tends to come forth in a frantic move to attempt to correct a distressing situation.
The ebb and flow of a good marriage can best be understood through the realization that life is a long road with many twists and unexpected turns. Becoming inflicted with tunnel vision in any circumstance is not productive in forming and maintaining a marriage. The ability to keep “your eyes on the prize” at the end of that long journey is a key to managing the ebb and flow of a good marriage.