Breastfeeding is awkward to say the least. Several years ago, I resigned myself to the fact that I would most likely never breastfeed. That was it. There was no question in my mind if maybe I should or that I might try it. Nope. I planned on letting my funbags stay just as they were-not for work, but solely for play.
Then one day a few months into my pregnancy, a curious thing happened. My fiancee’s sister made a remark about how she hoped that I wouldn’t breastfeed because she wanted to give the baby bottles when he was hungry. My mind wandered. I hadn’t really given any thought to whether or not I would breastfeed since I had become pregnant. And for reasons I’d rather not discuss publicly, I wasn’t even really sure that I could.
So, out came good ole What to Expect When You’re Expecting. I skipped ahead (only about 500 pages or so) to the section on breastfeeding. Each paragraph I read lead me further into guilt. I knew that there was no way that I could avoid breastfeeding altogether with a clear conscience. Even the formula companies admit that breastfeeding is the best thing. I had no clue.
Armed with my new knowledge, I resolved that I would be a breastfeeding mommy! Even despite my fiancee’s opposition, “if you’re feeding him all the time, then there won’t be any thing for me to do!” and my mother’s doubts, “I couldn’t breastfeed you. You were like Jaws!” my determination remained. I wanted the best and only the best for my child. I would bare my boob.
Finally, that incredible day arrived. My son was born. Mere minutes after the c-section and while I was still heavily drugged, the questioning began, “do you want to try to breastfeed him now?” No. Absolutely not. The only thing on my mind as I lay in recovery was that I needed sleep and lots of it. Plus, I wasn’t ready yet.
How exactly can you become ready for something like breastfeeding? No matter how much you read, no matter how many video tutorials you may watch, nothing can prepare you for it. You have the most wonderful moment of your life, you welcome your newborn child into the world, and then you’re expected to whip out your boob and stick it in the kid’s mouth?
Somehow to me, this seems more like a freak X-rated version of Fear Factor than anything else. I’ve seen and been around a lot of babies in my time and now that I have one I’m supposed to let him suck my boob? Awkward. Granted, yes, he was in there for the past nine months, but in a way, I’ve just met the kid. I don’t go that fast with someone I’ve just met. I’m not that kind of girl!
Eventually, the weirdness did wear off-pretty quickly, actually-and I soon found that each time I started to breastfeed, I filled with pride. Despite what my fiancée may say or think, this is exactly what my breasts were intended for and they were finally being put to use as nature had in mind. There’s something incredibly empowering about knowing that even once your child enters the world, you can still be his sole means of survival. I highly recommend it to any mother-to-be.