In an ideal world, nobody would ever judge one another. Unfortunately, the dire circumstances of contemporary life mandate that we rely on intuition and knowledge to reach educated conclusions about those around us. How else can we protect ourselves from potential kidnappers, murderers, predators, and psychopaths? Nevertheless, I feel that we as a society have sadly crossed the bounds of astute perception and instead landed onto a mound of presumption dominated by mere circumstantial evidence. What I mean is that we have become overly accustomed to making false assumptions and accusations based on superficial facades. It is my belief that we must stop judging one another based on pretense, and focus rather on judging one another by the content of our character. This leads me to my second lesson of change:
LESSON #2: DON’T JUDGE BASED ON ASSUMPTION
Don’t judge based on assumptions, but rather on the content of people’s character instead.
What constitutes homosexuality? Sometimes, college girls kiss one another to entertain their male dates. Does this therefore make them homosexual or bisexual? I know a very effeminate man who is married to a very sexy Lady. Is he merely a closet-case homosexual in denial? I used to prostitute as a gay-4-pay escort to pay my bills. Am I gay?
I have no problem with homosexuality and gay marriage, but I do take umbrage to constantly being mislabeled due to the false assumptions of others. My concern is that people are too quick to label an individual homosexual or bisexual without actually knowing the circumstances behind that person’s decisions and personality. As I previously mentioned, I used to be a ‘hooker.’ It certainly wasn’t a profession that I enjoyed, but I honestly had no other viable solution available at the time. A part-time gig at McDonalds just wasn’t going to cut the cake, and so I did what I felt I had to do. There were even times that I was so hungry that I would literally sell my body just for a smidgen of grub. Thankfully I have risen from these unpleasant circumstances and now maintain a full-time gig. Nonetheless, the stigma of homosexuality forever continues to tangle from me like a tail.
Even worse, I am somewhat effeminate myself in that I am kind-spirited, open-minded, tolerant, non-aggressive, unassertive, and a believer in making love versus sex. These attributes, combined with my quirky nature, tends to leave a stamp of homosexuality branded onto my forehead. Some women even refuse to date me because they believe that I need to “come to terms” with my purported homosexuality. What in the bloody hell does that mean? Am I in the twilight zone? What gives them the authority (not to mention audacity) to define who I am? The fact that I once prostituted in the gay industry does not erase the constant desire in my heart for the sweet love of a beautiful woman, nor the dreams I have every night of my yet unknown future lover. Rather than discover the true nature of my personality, these women instead opt to superimpose a false image over me based on weakly fabricated and poorly thought-out conclusions.
Let me offer another example. While at the grocery store one day, my buddy was speaking to me and suddenly blurted, “It’s so obvious that guy is gay!” Looking back at him in confusion, I inquired, “What are you talking about?” He reached out his hand, pointed at a customer several paces ahead of us in line, and replied, “Look at how he’s dressed and the way he walks and talks! Bruh… he’s gay!” I will admit right off the bat that the young gentleman (who incidentally overheard our conversation) ahead of us was draped in outlandishly red garments and had a tendency to ‘wave’ his hand in a feminine manner as he spoke. Even so, my friend was in no position to prejudge the fellow and then rudely declare his ill-conceived notion to everybody within earshot distance. It was just plain stupid and awfully rude!
The point of this lengthy spiel is to clearly illustrate the negative consequences of relying on superficial facades to judge others. It is unfair, it is improper, and it is the uneducated, ignorant thing to do. The high road is to assume nothing. If you are perhaps interested to know if a man is gay (perhaps to ask him out), then approach him and just ask. I personally would prefer this direct line of communication versus the snickering, belittling, and presumptuous ways of conduct that I, as a purported homosexual, face on a daily basis. I will gladly tell you that I am a proud heterosexual. And, I will even mention that I do however have many gay friends. You know what’s sad? The fact that I have gay friends will probably be just enough to push you over the edge into a permanent belief that I am in fact a homosexual, despite my assertion that I am not.
I sincerely hope that my examples (based on the ‘homosexual stereotype’) proved why making quick assumptions isn’t always such a great idea. I do realize that assumptions are sometimes necessary and could potentially save your life. It is up to you to decide what assumptions are necessary and which ones aren’t necessary. Just make certain that you use common sense and intelligence. And most importantly, never call a straight man gay….. EXCUSEH’MWAH *two snaps with a Z* but that’s just a big NO-NO :-D!