Tofurky sales increased 37 percent last year, yet Turtle Island Foods, Tofurky’s maker, still expected to sell only 270,000 for the Thanksgiving holiday. When Tofurky sales are compared to the 272 million turkeys raised in the United States in 2007, a significant proportion of which ended up on the Thanksgiving table, it’s obvious that Tofurky hasn’t won over the typical American diner.
Although Tofurky roast is touted as a healthier dining option than turkey for Thanksgiving, suspicious-minded meat eaters mostly turn their noses up at the stuff and “harrumph!” as they pass it by in the grocer’s case without giving it a second glance. Tofurky? Not on your life!
Why are people so suspicious of Tofurky? Think for a minute about cooking a turkey, specifically, all the math angst involved in cooking a turkey:
“Turkey size, 14 pounds. Thaw in refrigerator 24 hours for each 5 pounds… That means I should have started thawing it the day before yesterday. Oops. If I put the turkey in the fridge now, I have 24 hours of thawing time…isn’t that close enough?”
24 hours later… “Dang. Frozen stiff. How do I thaw the last 9 pounds worth of turkey? Hhm. Alternate cold water thaw method. Since I already thawed 5 pounds worth, let’s see… it takes 4 to 6 hours in cold water to thaw a 9 pound turkey. So much for an early dinner. Ok, go for the minimum. 4 hours of cold water thawing and another 4 hours to cook…”
No wonder people are so fearful of Tofurky. It’s not the taste that frightens them, it’s having to learn Tofurky math when in a whole lifetime they haven’t yet mastered basic turkey math. So here it is in black and white, Tofurky math made simple:
Tofurky and 45 Degree Angles
Tofurky tears at a 45 degree angle, Real turkey tears at a 45 degree angle. Most other fake meats tear at a 90 degree angle. Why do you care? Because texture is a key component of the culinary experience.
Tofurky Thaw Time
Think you can get up an hour before meal time and pop that Tofurky roast into the oven straight from the freezer? Think again. Like real turkey, Tofurky requires extended thawing. 24 hours of it to be precise.
Or you can settle for a second-rate Tofurky dinner by thawing it in hot water (sound like a variant on the familiar?) and cooking it for nearly 3 times as long as the 1 hour and 15 minutes it normally takes to cook.
How Much Tofurky is Enough Tofurky?
Each Tofurky roast contains 5 147 g servings. This compares to a purchase weight of 1 pound per person for regular turkey. You can convert Tofurky grams into turkey pounds all by yourself, using this nifty calculator.
Doubling Quantity Does What to Cooking Time?
To bake two Tofurkys at once, add about 10 minutes to the cooking time.
How Long Is the Tofurky Song?
Tofurky has its own song which you can listen to here. How much time do you need to allocate to listening to the Tofurky song? A mere 2:04 minutes.
Sources: http://www.chow.com/stories/10811; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tofurky; www.tofurky.com; http://www.soundclick.com/player/single_player.cfm?songid=4710544&q=hi&newref=1; http://www.abbys-kitchen.com/size-of-turkey-to-purchase-thawing-time.htm; http://www.upi.com/Business_News/2007/11/18/Sales_of_Tofurky_hit_new_highs/UPI-88311195367720/; http://www.clevelandleader.com/node/3662; http://www.census.gov/Press-Release/www/releases/archives/facts_for_features_special_editions/012692.html .