It seems that year after year there seems to be an endless supply of movies that not only disappoint, but also somehow seem to embarrass themselves. This year is possibly the worst yet. Come on Hollywood! Earn your millions of dollars per picture (or in some really horrific cases, hundreds of thousands of dollars)! I am a true lover of the art of film and can usually find at least one nice thing to say about every film I see. This list of 5 makes my normal praise in the face of pity all but impossible.
5. The Hottie and the Nottie. There is no need to give a synopsis of this not-even-close-to-being-a-decent-movie. This movie’s leading lady is Paris Hilton. Paris should stick to doing what she does best. Letting us look at pictures of her so we don’t have to listen to her speak.
4. The Love Guru. Mike Myers co-wrote and starred in this “comedy”. Unfortunately for Mike Myers, who is a comedic genius (I still ask my husband if I make him randy), I only laughed at myself for wasting my time and money. When done properly, infantile bathroom humor can produce belly laughs like no other kind of humor. When done poorly, you get films such as The Love Guru. It seemed through the entire film that Myers was unsure his punchlines were delivering. By the end of the film I couldn’t even muster a pity chuckle. The one good thing about this movie is that Justin Timberlake plays the character “Jacques Grande”. He is a breath of fresh air and I think he is a great talent. I know – hard to admit, but J.T. really IS funny!
3. Meet the Spartans. This movie stars Carmen Electra and was written and directed by Jason Friedberg and Adam Seltzer, the duo that gave us the Oscar worthy hits such as Scary Movie 1, Scary Movie 2, Scary Movie 3, Scary Movie 4, Not Another Teen Movie and Date Movie. Well, this is yet another spoof flick, this time a spoof of the film 300, and popular names and pop culture. With spoofs throughout the film of such things as Shrek, Brittany Spears, Ugly Betty, Deal or No Deal and Paris Hilton to name a few, this film offers few new ideas or humor that haven’t been done to death a thousand times over by Friedberg and Seltzer. The one good thing about this film was that it didn’t have the word “Movie” in the title. There’s that….
2. Cloverfield. I actually had to walk out on this film. It was quite possibly a great movie. I couldn’t tell because I became so motion sick in the way the movie was filmed that I literally could not continue to watch after approximately 25 minutes.
1. The Happening. Easily the worst movie of 2008, no contest. I rate this the worst for the sheer level of disappointment. I am a great fan of M. Night Shyamalan, who wrote, directed and co-produced this film. He’s known for his “twists” in films such as The Sixth Sense, The Village, Unbreakable and Signs and this film’s “twist” was far too easily discovered and in no way believable, scary or even mildly suspenseful. Is it a terrorist attack with biological weapons resulting in all of the deaths? Could it be an evil wind? Can it be stopped? Will we all die? These are questions I didn’t find myself caring to be answered. The acting was sub par to be generous. I found myself feeling sorry for Mark Wahlberg, who played the lead role. This film was empty in every sense a movie could be.