When your young you seem to have quite a number of friends. Some are just “hang out” friends while others are your real close friends. But as reality would have it sometimes those friends go away or perhaps you lose touch.
I have learned over the years that some friends are here to stay while others are what I like to call “Friends of Convenience.” You know the type I am talking about. Looking back you can see it but at the time you really think they’re your friend for always, you know your BFF. For instance, I had a friend growing up I knew from birth practically. Grew up in the same town, went to the same Church and school. Got married 1 month apart and even had our babies 1 day apart. Now this was the makings of a real true friendship. One that could stand the test of time. You would think that right? Not so much. One little misunderstanding and it was over. No talking it over, no trying to fix it, and no agreeing to disagree.
It took me awhile to get over that. I am not sure what was the hardest part. The actual misunderstanding and them not trying to work it out or the realization that perhaps we never had a true friendship. I think that was the hardest part. You always want to believe your friendship is worth saving to someone, but even if it’s not worth saving in their eyes that is their right. It’s better to find that out sooner rather than later. You don’t want to invest your time and energy in a friendship that they are not equally willing to invest their time. It’s just not worth it. I like to think I am not so desperate for friendship that I will just take what other people dish out. Some lessons are worth learning, just aren’t easy to learn.
I am sure thinking back you have already thought of a few “friends” like this. I am sure you have also thought of true friends you have in your life. Now on the other hand I have another friend who I have also known since I was little, lived in the same town, went to the same Church and school and our parents were real good friends too. Today we are still real good friends. She is one of the only friends I have that I can truly count on.
When I think of the meaning of true friendship I think of many things. I think of an unconditional friendship where you will remain friends no matter what. Thru disagreements and hard times you are committed to your friendship and you both know that. I think true friendship means you know you are both willing to work out anything and that nothing is to big you can’t handle together. I like to think of Lucy and Ethel. Even with all of Lucy’s schemes Ethel stood by her side and was right along with her. Now that is true friendship.
I have experienced that kind of friendship with someone. Someone that is not here anymore. I suppose the saying is true that you don’t realize what you have until it’s gone. But I really believe in my case that is not true. I always knew what kind of friend I had. I feel I was blessed to have her in my life the short time I did then to not have had her in my life at all.
When we get older we realize the strong importance of friends and what they mean to us. Sometimes we realize that fact a little too late. Actually though, it’s never too late. If you have friends in your life that you love let them know it. Make time for them. Go to lunch, have a girls night out, go shopping, just spend time together. In school days it was easy because we saw our friends all day and even on weekends but when you go off to college and then get married your life becomes so different that a lot of things and a lot of people get pushed to the wayside. Make sure that doesn’t happen to you. If it has happened reach out and rekindle your friendship.
I read something once that has really stuck with me. “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out”. Let’s all strive to be such a friend.