It’s almost that time of year again where pink & red seem to abound in every store that you step into. Women painstakingly spend hours choosing just the right card and Valentine’s gift to express the perfect sentiment to their boyfriend or husband. Men, on the other hand, tend to gather in herds at Walgreen’s and grocery stores around the country buying up whatever Valentine’s Day flower arrangement happens to be closer to the checkout stand.
Then of course there are the single people on Valentine’s Day. These are the ones who dress in black on Valentine’s Day and avoid the card section of every store as if the people crowding the aisles were infected with some virus. Ok, maybe it’s not that bad. The truth is that many singles out there are perfectly happy with their single status and Valentine’s Day is just another day.
However, if you are the more bitter type of single or just have a snarky sense of humor, you might get a kick out of the following collection of Valentine’s Day Sucks Hotline numbers. These are the perfect hotline numbers to pass along to your friends in a text message to declare your Valentine’s Day sucks attitude.
Valentine’s Day is Evil!
401-992-4026
This number spews off a list of Valentine’s Day facts tailored just for the unhappy single. The facts, like more suicides occur on Valentine’s Day than any other day of the year, don’t seem to have much validity. But they sure are fun to listen to.
Valentine’s Day Sucks
401-992-4027
Call this number to hear an anti-Valentine’s Day poem. Warning – this message does contain explicit language.
For Singles on Valentine’s Day
401-992-4047
This funny message breaks it down for all the single guys and girls out there on Valentine’s Day and encourages them to “lower their standards” so they won’t be in the same situation next year.
A not-so-sweet Valentine’s Day Poem
973-409-3280
What better way to say how much you hate Valentine’s Day than with a gross Valentine’s Day sucks poem? The sound effects in the background really pump up the gross-out factor in this one.
Best Valentine’s Day Gift Ever!
973-409-3278
Guys, you might want to go ahead and jot this number down because it could save your neck should you happen to find yourself a little pressed for time to find that perfect gift for your girlfriend. This hilarious and self-serving message claims that listening to this Valentine’s Day message is the best gift a woman could ever hope to receive. Perfect for the guy who tends to forget important dates or is just too cheap to shell out the $20 that some red roses and a sappy Valentine’s Day card would set him back.
All these numbers are part of the Rejection Hotline website and can be found at http://rejectionhotline.com/vday.
