A majority of people want to be honest and make a good impression on a first date. Unfortunately this sometimes means they disclose too much information, leaving their date with a feeling of uneasiness. Disclosing too much too soon can be the beginning of the end in a new relationship. The following are four simple steps you can take to avoid communication overkill.
Tip #1- Keep it simple in the beginning.
Less is more some with some subjects including religion, financial issues, and the ghosts of your dating past. Some of the people you date may be open enough to discuss some of these subjects, but you have to realize this will not apply to all situations. You should exercise some caution when approaching people on taboo subjects and realize that the point of a first date is not to jump in head first to find you life partner, but to get to know someone on an occasion of initial contact. Serious discussion of heavy subjects can easily lead to conflicting views, setting the tone of the date to a tension filled encounter. Keep the atmosphere light and enjoy yourself. Being a person of deep thought or strong beliefs isn’t a bad thing-just take the first date for what it is intended to be. The purpose of a first date is to have an enjoyable experience and to get to know another person in a casual setting. Lighten up and enjoy!
Tip#2-Just because they listen doesn’t mean you should talk.
I have a male friend who always seems to attract needy co-dependent females with issues ranging from self esteem, past abuse, and drug problems. He can’t understand why these females divulge every single detail about their life on the first date. I told him it’s as simple as him letting them tell their whole life story. The guy is a “great listener” and wants to be available for a woman to be totally open with him. The only problem with this is that when you open that door to a woman’s past everything will probably end up falling out. As a woman you should keep your deep dark secrets for dates down the line after you decide to become exclusive, because a man may be able to deal with your past and any baggage associated with it but it will scare him off nine times out of ten if you disclose everything too soon. Take your time in a relationship. A tip for men would apply in the same fashion and I would also add if you seem to have the same problems that my friend did as mentioned above that you not probe into a female’s past seem too intrusive, or too suggestive and open for a woman to want to pour her heart out to you. If you give someone the impression that they can unload their problems on you that is exactly what they will do.
Tip#3-How to learn from you past without wearing experiences like a badge of honor
Many men and women have the misconception that since they might have gone through hell they need to wear the pain and experience like a badge of honor. Telling their sometimes heroic rise from adversity to show how far they have come. Accepting your past and situations you have survived is a great thing in the right context. It shows countenance and perseverance which are both great strengths. Just be aware of how much projection of the trials and tribulations you’re bringing to light. Some things that you may have been through in life are best kept to yourself and your close confidants. You don’t need to tell everyone about everything that has happened in your past-good or bad. Realize that you don’t have to testify about everything you’ve gone through to accept the experience. The most important part of going through adversity is that you survive it and move beyond it. You can be honest without telling every single detail.