If your wife or girlfriend has gotten pregnant by another man, you’re most likely feeling a range of emotions including anger and betrayal. There are some steps you can take to get through what might be a difficult time in your relationship. And you two can come out on top, if you’re willing to work on things.
Your wife or girlfriend may have gotten pregnant while having an affair. There is also the instance of a married couple becoming involved with other people during a separation. Sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies can result from this.
Do you stay or go? If you’re faced with the dilemma of a cheating wife or girlfriend, you have probably already deliberating if you two are going to work the relationship out. Or if you’re already separated, there may be discussions of reuniting. Marriage or couples counseling would be good to consider as you move on.
First you’ll have to determine if you want to salvage the relationship with your woman. If there are a lot of good things in your relationship despite this major issue, consider working it out. Don’t be lukewarm in the matter though. Make a full commitment to working things out and stick with it. If your wife or girlfriend wants you to forgive her for cheating, don’t hold her mistake over her head. It’s not healthy for her, you, the baby or the relationship.
Respect the father’s rights. If the man that got your wife or girlfriend pregnant wants to be a part of the child’s life, you’ll have to toughen up and respect his right to raise his child. The male ego may make this difficult, but if you’ve made a commitment to work things out and trust your woman going forward, you’ll have to trust that she and the father of her child will have a platonic relationship as they raise their child. Agree to boundaries such as how and when the two parents will communicate. Late night calls that are non-emergency, for example, aren’t acceptable.
Help raise the child and treat him or her with respect. Whether or not your wife or girlfriend has custody of the child, you will be seen as an influential male figure in the child’s life, and perhaps even a father figure. If the father is in the picture, you do not have to replace him, but as the husband or boyfriend of the mother, you will have an impact on the child’s life. Treat the child with respect. If you already have children with the mother, the child’s sibling(s), treat the child just as you would your own.
It will be a hard adjustment, but you can overcome this bump in your marriage or relationship by sticking to your commitment.